eMothersOnline

I find that a good deal of moms are competitive by nature, and many find it difficult to fully support their friends and family who are also mothers. It’s easy to judge the discipline methods of others, or whether they chose to breastfeed or bottle feed, or whether they homeschooled or put their child in public school. There are a multitude of options when it comes to raising our children. The other moms in your life may choose differently, but that doesn’t make them wrong or bad mothers. We women should take a stand and work to nurture our relationships with others, seeking out help and assistance when needed, instead of spouting out what our children knows in the hopes that they are better than someone else’s child.

We women should take a stand and work to nurture our relationships with others, seeking out help and assistance when needed, instead of spouting out what our children knows in the hopes that they are better than someone else’s child.

There are a few easy steps to follow so that you can be more supportive and encouraging of other moms.

1. Listen. So simple, but not so easy to follow through with. The next time a mom at your playgroup starts telling you how her child had a meltdown at the grocery store, turn off the mental commentary in your head that tells you that your child would never dare such a thing. Instead listen to her story. Offer encouragement and tell her she did the right thing (whatever that may be). Laugh and cry with her. Offer kindly suggestions for the next time, making sure to follow step 2.

2. Leave Your Child Out of It. Leave your child out of the conversation and out of your own mental dialogue. Stop comparing everyone else’s child to your own, as that can only ever do harm. Think about it for a second. If your child comes up “ahead” of the other - it just means that you’re finding fault with the mother or child. If your child comes up “behind” the other - you’ll berate yourself or look down on your own child. Instead realize that every child has their own strengths and weaknesses, and while your child may know their alphabet before everyone else’s, some other child may be able to draw a person with realistic features!

3. Get to Know the Woman Inside. Try to engage in conversation that does not revolve around parenting and children. If the mom you’re speaking to is a new friend, try to find out her hobbies and what she did prior to having children. Learn about her family and background - and this may give you insight to her parenting methods.

4. Educate Yourself. When it comes to supporting others, one of the best things you can do is educate yourself on the various parenting styles and controversial decisions out there. Before speaking up on why every child should receive their vaccinations, why not support your friend’s choice not to have her child receive them, and then read up on the argument. The next time the discussion comes up, you can get her input and discover the reasons behind her decision.