 When I told my psychologist that I was trying to get pregnant she recommended the book Smart Love to me. I found the book to be exceptionally eye-opening not only for how I might want to raise my child, but also why I might have a fear of success or a desire to make things difficult when they aren’t. It has influenced not only how I parent, but my understanding of how I was raised and how that may be affecting me now.
However, like most parenting books, it should be taken with a large grain of salt. This book might make you a better parent, I believe it has made me a better parent, but like all the assvice in the world it only works for you if you try it and it works, if you follow me. In fact, in the book review section there are 72 reviews, all skewed violently one way or the other: J Hahm - After 6 years my son is turning into quite a young man, of which we are extremely proud. I’m not saying that Smart Love showed us the answer, but it did help us to find a way to raise him that we were confident in and unwavering about. We believe in Love not Fear and this book fit along with our beliefs. This method of raising children is way more time consuming and difficult, because it forces you to overcome many issues you may have. But if you say you will do anything for your children, working with them instead of yelling at them is more difficult, but in my view way more rewarding. Malcolm Sen “Malcolm” - Without much evidence to support efficacy, these authors seem to espouse an approach to parenting that teaches a child that their caregetting needs take priority over the needs of others (other siblings, parents, pets). In a family, everyone has needs to be cared for and it is ongoing challenge (and joy) to create a family in which everyone feels they can –1)get their needs met and 2)contribute to each others wellbeing. In this book, the parenting relationship takes place in a vacuum and the child is the center of the universe–not realistic, not good for the parent, and definitely not good for the child. Carol Typee “Carol” - I am a working mother and found this book incredibly helpful!! I am dedicated to my profession (law) but also dedicated to giving my children (two boys and a girls 6 months-5 years) the best possible start in life. This book shows you how to juggle work and parenting in ways that allow both aspects of your life to succeed.
Emily K Paster - My daughter just entered the toddler years so discipline has become an issue for us. A friend who is an educator gave us this book as a baby present so I thought I would take a look. I was interested in their approach until I read their take on mom’s return to work. Basically, they say that children “thrive better” if a parent is home with them until they are three years old. I found this broad generalization to be both offensive and unhelpful. I, too, found the “Gee, you should really stay home with your baby” message a tad insulting, but I can just accept that I don’t think that stay-at-home parenting is a good thing and take what I like from the book.
I, too, found the “Gee, you should really stay home with your baby” message a tad insulting, but I can just accept that I don’t think that stay-at-home parenting is a good thing and take what I like from the book. 
Overall, I’d give it a four out of five stars with the caveat that its practices should be picked through with a fine-tooth comb. I also think it might be extremely helpful for those mothers who have adopted or foster older children. It may help put a new spin on negative behaviors and help explain why older children often rebel violently against a safe and loving environment. Put this one on your parenting list! See "Smart Love" in our Amazon Store! |
Krissy Baker |
| About the author: |
| Howdy! I’m pleased to be joining the group of e-mothers online and hoping to avoid being lynched or disowned for at least a month or two. My (also English) husband and I having successfully procreated the world’s cutest Wallace, I’m singularly qualified to blog on the bringing up of my child in my home in my particular circumstance. However, I will also be happy to blog on situations or topics that I have little or no experience with and go on and on about them in my vociferous and insistent opinions. I have my personal blog, Speckblog and I’ve posted emphatically there on such parenting issues as External Cephalic Versions, Fertile vs. Infertile, Kids and Drugs, Talking Smack About Your Family, How to Make Babyfood, Breast is Best, and Crying it Out among others. As you can see, I wasn’t kidding about the “opinionated” part. The truth is, dear reader, that I love a good debate, as long as it’s about the issue being discussed and not about the people involved. I hope to fill emothersonline with my particular sort of post and I certainly hope you’ll hop on board and give me your opinions or information in return. Let’s have some fun! |
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